Broken Road

Have you ever just wondered, “how’d I end up here? Where did I go wrong?” I have and I know the answers. I got to this life that is not mine by not standing up for myself and lettering my fears get in the way of what I want. I let someone else control my decisions and stopped being my own person. So now, my questions are, “How do I fix this? And where do I even start?”

I am living a life that is not my own. My loved ones do not understand how my brain works. My spouse acts like his woes are the most important part of life and I feel like a horrible person for not understanding. I want him to be happy, but I want to be happy too. I feel like I am doing all the WRONG things, but for the right reasons.

I am staying in this area even though all I want is a fresh start in a new place so I can be the person that I want to be. Why can’t I do that where I am? Because I need to be closer to where my career is at. I live just far enough away for it not to work. I can’t get into my industry without doing the scut work first, but scut work doesn’t pay enough for me to take care of my family and family comes first. I automatically move because, well… I don’t have the money right now, but what about when I do have the money? My husband doesn’t want to leave and I want to be where he is, but at the same time, I want him to be where I am. How do I get him to stop being so selfish without sounding selfish myself? There is nothing for me here, career wise.

I have my family, friends, and memories, but is that really a reason to stay in a place where I am unhappy and being held back? What if I fail? Then what will I do? How can I just be brave?

Got answers? Feel free to head over to the contact page and send in your ideas?